Sometimes i feel like a newborn baby. A baby who everyone stops to admire, and poke and prod without permission. A baby with no say in what I do, or who gets taken away from me. Like everything going on around me is so out of my control; and nothing i say or do can change it.
This past march i lost the one man that mattered the most to me to Lou Gehrig's disease. My grandpa Wall's was the strongest and smartest man i have ever had the honor to know. He was the one true person who never judged me and always let me know just how much he loved me. Through everything his body put him through and everything life through at him, you never saw that man without a smile on his face. He always had courage, and hope, and strength. If i could have took his place I would have in a heart beat. Losing him was one hundred percent out of my control, and just happened in the blink of an eye.
Also, this past year my parents went through a divorce. As a child you can sense that something is wrong, but when you "grow up" you try to ignore it. Growing up family was something I thought everyone had, and I didn't know any different. Hearing my parents fight about money, or faithfulness, or the kids was something I've grown accustomed to. I knew my parents weren't happy, and they just stayed together to keep me happy, but in the end it hurt more. And still the thought of losing what i'd always known really scared me. So when my mother finally threw in the towel i didn't know if i should be relieved or upset. Unfortunately, that is something I too had no control over and could do absolutely nothing about.Life throws bumps and curves at me sometimes. And I have no control over what is going to happen to me next. But its good to be like a newborn baby in the end because, once that baby grows up it turns into a toddler. And eventually that toddler is going to teach its self how to walk. Yeah, They might fall down over, and over, and over again. But they're not going to just sit there forever. Eventually there going to get up, and in the end learn how to overcome that problem and walk. Every problem in life is like that baby falling. Once something happens, I have one of two choices. One, to sit there and do nothing. Or two, to stand up, brush it off, and keep going. The second choice may not always be the easiest, but in the end it will make me stronger and change the person i am going to become.
