"If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn"

Stay for tonight If you want to I can show you What my dreams are made of, as I'm dreaming of your face I've been away for a long time Such a long time And I miss you there I can't imagine being anywhere else I can't imagine being anywhere else but here

[Verse 1:] How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song But I don't think words can express your beauty It's singing to me How the hell did we end up like this? You bring out the beast in me I fell in love from the moment we kissed Since then we've been history

[Chorus:] They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need Please stay as long as you need Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave Please stay forever with me

[Verse 2:] It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are What my dreams are made of Can't fall asleep, can't fall asleep I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night As I dream of you I'll fall in love, you'll fall in love It could mean everything, everything to me I can't imagine being anywhere else

[Chorus:] They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need Please stay as long as you need Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave Please stay forever with me

[Bridge:] The way that we are It's the reason I stay As long as you're here with me I know we'll be Ok The way that we are It's the reason I stay As long as you're here with me I know I'll be Ok

[Chorus:] They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need Please stay as long as you need Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave Please stay forever with me

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby) They say that love is forever Your forever is all that I need (I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl) Please stay as long as you need

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one baby) Can't promise that things won't be broken But I swear that I will never leave (I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl) Please stay forever with me.

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My best friend Jordan showed me this band, sleeping with sirens. Im not really one for "screamo" music because I always thought I couldn't relate. Little did I know that this song is by far, everything I've wanted a guy to ever say to me.
The very beginning is my favorite part. I love the fact that he is so honest with her. He's asking her to stay with him and not leave, and honestly admiting he's been gone for a while for whatever reason. I love the fact that he throws in exactly what he dreams about after he offers to show her.
In the first and second verse he really shows that he doesn't feel like he deserves her, and doesn't understand how he got her. He says he would sing her a song, but he still couldn't explain her beauty and that's saying a lot. He goes on telling how details of his dreams. I love his humbleness, and honesty and it makes me wish all guys were like that.
The heart of the song is the chorus. The line that speaks mostly to me Is "they say that love is forever. Your forever is all that I need." To me this is perfect. People over use the term forever. He's saying everyone might say love is for eternity but all he needs is her forever. He's just asking to be with her forever. " please stay as long as you need. Can't promise things wont be broken, but I swear that ill never leave. Please stay forever with me." He's admitting that things wont be perfect, but promising he's not going to give up on her. Thas honestly all I have ever wanted, for a guy to never give up when things get hard. He's promising her to not give up on her and in my opinion that's the best promise anyone could ever make.

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my little blessing!

Olivia grace (:

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Olivia Grace, a blessing in disguise.

About five years ago I got blessed out of an awful tragedy. I learned early on in life everything happens for a reason and something good can come out of the worst situation. This little blessing really let me find this to be true.
Growing up my dad was best friends with a man named Tony. Him and Tony worked at Duke Power together and dad invited him to church with us. Eventually my family got very close to him and his girlfriend. When Tony told us him and Brenda were getting married we were very happy for him, but knew this meant we wouldn't see him as often. Not too long after the marriage Brenda got pregnant. She was going to have a little girl, and we could not believe it. Although we didn't talk to them much anymore they were fighting a lot and it was obvious there were problems between them.
Nine months later, there came Olivia. She was beautiful, and everyones idea of a perfect baby. Unfortunately, Brenda was battling with something bigger than anyone could ever imagine. Post pardon depression. This is a awful depression that few mothers get after conceiving a child. In her head Tony was only with her for the baby, and physically and emotionally she refused to have anything to do with her.
When Olivia was about five months old her mother committed suicide. Naturally we were all there for Tony, but the hardest part is preparing a baby girl for a life without her mother. Day by day Tony tried to cope but eventually he got back in church and asked my mom and I to help with the baby. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on that diva. She was dressed with a big bow and covered in pink frills. Knowing how close my mother and I are, and how much I depend on her; I tried to fill that void in Olivia's life. From day one I helped Tony in anyway possible from babysitting, to cleaning, to buying clothes. From the first time I saw her, I've treated her as if she was my own child.
Looking back I can't even imagine my life without that crazy little girl. Sometimes I can't stand the attitude she gives me, or her outrageous demands but I realize she learned from the best. Now "Livi" is my god daughter and I really thank God for blessing me with her. Until the day I die I will always treat her as my own child, and try my best to give her the world. It truly still amazes me that blessings can come out of awful situations like that, but I am glad she looks up to me as a mother figure and she knows she can count on me to never leave her side.

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Im writing this blog, but i should be...

taking a nap.

This past week I worked five days straight. I always go in around four or five, and end up staying there until ten or eleven. It isn't that big of a deal, but when i work like that its so hard for me to get up and go to class. I need the money, but my education is way more important.
I've never been as exhausted as i have been this past week. I love my job, but my body is physically drained. My bones and muscles feel like there disolving. Every morning when I wake up, it takes every fiber in my being to raise up out of the bed. I have tendonidous in my feet, and it hurts me every single day now.
I went to my biology class this morning and honestly cant tell you half the stuff we talked about, because the only thing going through my mind was how bad I wanted to sleep. Then I have to get my goddaughter and sister from school, and then go straight to work. I am writing this blog, but I should be taking a nap to catch up on all the sleep i've been missing.

My experience as a Outback server!

I Started serving at Outback a couple weeks ago, and it has been quite a experience. From customers who are rude to customers who want everything I've had my hands full. When I first started I had some awful tables. One of my first tables was four drunk businessmen. They ordered so much alcohol and complicated meals, I thought I was gonna die. I ran my butt off trying to give them everything they wanted.
The same night I got anotther table with four australian men. They messed with my head all night and thought it was so funny. They would order drinks and then say they were kidding. They would ask for a new glass and when id bring it say nevermind. They even refused to leave until I tried to talk like them, because they were talking like me all night.
This past sunday I had two parties of ten back to back and it really stressed me out. I kept filling up there drinks and when I turned around they were empty again. I spilt a tray of drinks, and seperated there checks three times because a woman lost her debit card. But at the end of the day a man told my manager how good I did, so it was worth it.
Hopefully in the future I wont get stuck with akward drunk men, or crazy australians. Im having to teach myself to take it one step at a time, and not stress out. I hope when I have bad days like that, I can always see the silver lining.

Sometimes i feel like a..

Sometimes i feel like a newborn baby.  A baby who everyone stops to admire, and poke and prod without permission.  A baby with no say in what I do, or who gets taken away from me.  Like everything going on around me is so out of my control; and nothing i say or do can change it.

This past march i lost the one man that mattered the most to me to Lou Gehrig's disease.  My grandpa Wall's was the strongest and smartest man i have ever had the honor to know.  He was the one true person who never judged me and always let me know just how much he loved me.  Through everything his body put him through and everything life through at him, you never saw that man without a smile on his face.  He always had courage, and hope, and strength.   If i could have took his place I would have in a heart beat.  Losing him was one hundred percent out of my control, and just happened in the blink of an eye.

Also, this past year my parents went through a divorce.  As a child you can sense that something is wrong, but when you "grow up" you try to ignore it. Growing up family was something I thought everyone had, and I didn't know any different.  Hearing my parents fight about money, or faithfulness, or the kids was something I've grown accustomed to.  I knew my parents weren't happy,  and they just stayed together to keep me happy, but in the end it hurt more.  And still the thought of losing what i'd always known really scared me.   So when my mother finally threw in the towel i didn't know if i should be relieved or upset.  Unfortunately, that is something I too had no control over and could do absolutely nothing about.

Life throws bumps and curves at me sometimes.  And I have no control over what is going to happen to me next.  But its good to be like a newborn baby in the end because, once that baby grows up it turns into a toddler.  And eventually that toddler is going to teach its self how to walk.  Yeah,  They might fall down over, and over, and over again.  But they're not going to just sit there forever.  Eventually there going to get up, and in the end learn how to overcome that problem and walk.  Every problem in life is like that baby falling.  Once something happens, I have one of two choices.  One, to sit there and do nothing.  Or two, to stand up, brush it off, and keep going. The second choice may not always be the easiest, but in the end it will make me stronger and change the person i am going to become.